


Babyhead Fungus Affair

by jkkitty



Series: Story with Napoleon, Illya, Josephina (would suggest reading in order as it a growing relationship although all story are complete and separate) [7]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 23:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jkkitty/pseuds/jkkitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After five students are found dead from an unknown fungus, Napoleon, Illya, and Jo goes in search of the cause in Northwestern Texas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The two walked across the campus, backpacks slung over their shoulders and heads together. The girl had waist long pale, strawberry blonde hair, while the boy's hair was pale blonde.

They were dressed in matching tie dye tee shirts, faded blue jeans with matching jacket a large peace signs on their back, and natural leather boots. The only difference was the fringe that edged the girl's jacket and boots. The young woman waist long hair was braided with flowers intertwined.

The two heads seemed to be sharing quiet moments together, smiling, laughing, and talking. Most who saw them believed they were too young to be in college.

As they approached a bench on which a dark haired professor was sitting, "Would you mind us sharing your bench?" the boy asked with an accent that left people often wondering where he was from.

"Actually, I was just leaving. Be my guest." With this, he stood and moved off leaving a newspaper.

A minute later the girl notice the paper, "Professor, your newspaper," the girl called with the same unidentifiable accent. The professor seemed not to hear her, so the girl picked it up and examined it.

In the margin the words 15 minutes, your room was written. Placing it in her backpack, she stood. "Let's head back to the room. It's time to work," the boy reminded her.

Sighing deeply, "I know. It's just…." the girl let the final words died away. Giving her a hug, the young man knew what she meant.

**Two weeks ago**

"Sit down Miss Kuryakin, gentlemen," Waverly had summoned them to his office urgently. "We have found that there is a new Thrush threat in Texas. It seems to have some connection to the Huston-Tillotson College, Biological Science Program in Austin, TX."

"What type of threat, Sir?" Last time Napoleon answered a college threat he was a professor, not one of his favorite roles.

"A total of five students in the last five months have been found dead in northwest part of Texas in Llano County. All five were students of the Biological Science program. The autopsies have indicated that they were killed by an unknown substance but always the same one. A substance that the college insist is not one of their."

"The three of you will go in as students and try to find out what is going on. Miss and Mr. Kuryakin you will go as a brother and sister foreign exchange students."

A grin crossed Waverly face, "Mr. Solo, you will go in as a biker who just returned from the war. Remember, we don't know if it is students, professors or a combination of both who is behind this. Just be aware that Thrush agents have been sighted in the area."

Picturing himself in jeans, sleeveless top, and denim jacket with an American flag on the back, boots, and riding a bike did not appeal to him, "Sir isn't that a little more within Illya's field of expertise."

"Mr. Solo, we need to make sure that if Thrush is there, they will recognize you. I think this identify will put you in the spotlight and achieve this purpose. Thereby allowing the Kuryakins to roam at will."

Illya and Jo attempted not to smile, but failed. "Napoleon, I am sure we can help you make your role believable," Illya offered, "No part in the hair, maybe a small beard or one earring. I do think I can help you."

"Thanks loads, partner. With friends like you who needs Thrush," he frowned.

"Here are your assignments. Mingle with the students and staff. See what you can find out and put a stop to whatever is happening immediately."

The three agents stopped by Section 8 for some items to help Napoleon with his clothing needs. "I can do this myself, Illya. I don't need your help."

"Napoleon, my brother is an expert at this," Jo grinned, "He will make sure you are properly outfitted for your role."

"I think you two are having entirely too much fun at my expenses. Just go away."

Instead, the two went through clothing and choose some that had Napoleon getting depressed. "I can't believe the Old Man did this to me."

He took the clothes and headed for the changing room.

Jo followed him and soon Illya heard, "Josephina Nichovia Kuryakin, cut it out."

"What is going on in there? This is not the place you know."

"Funny Illya, you two are just a riot," Napoleon pushed out of the dressing room pass Jo,

"She was trying to put this on my head," throwing a bandana at Illya, "I draw the line at that or an earring."

Smiling Illya reminded him, "Your tattoo appointment is in 15 minutes." Although not permanent, Napoleon still hated had them painted on his body.

He shot a deadly glare at Illya and Jo and left them. Before the door slid shut, he could hear the two of them begin to laugh uncontrollably. He was also sure he heard some of the Section 8 staff joining them.

**The College**

The small Volkswagen pulled up in front of the dorms which had rooms reserved for co-habs. Stepping out of the car, the young man and woman looked around. Beginning to unload the car, they introduced themselves, "I am David Nicholas, this is my sister Nika." to the other students offering greetings of welcome and help.

Taking their guitars out of the now empty car, Cindy, one of the girls helping them clean out the car, "You two play these things?"

"My brother and I both do."

"There a campfire later this evening. Bring it along, we can always use music."

"Well, we actually planned to get organized tonight, but David can we?"

Illya looked over at Jo. He saw a light in her eyes that rarely was there. The excitement was running throughout the students around them seemed to be rubbing off on her. Innocence could be seen in the faces around him, Jo's face showed the same thing.

"Well we can always set things up later," he agreed whispering in Jo's ear, "After the fire then."

As they were walking up the stairs to the building, a motorcycle raced up to the area. As it was turned off, the rider looked around. Some of the girls walking up the steps with them stopped and stared.

"Wow, look at that guy—so cool." The rest of the girls turned around and whistles were heard.

"Even as a biker, the girls love him," Jo said softy to Illya.

A group of girls surround the rider. "Hi girls. I'm R.V. Soloman" came the same charming voice that held the hearts of many women, "Anyone want to help me get this stuff inside?"

Within a few minutes, Napoleon's things were in his room. With a peck on the cheek for all who helped him, he closed the door and pulled out his communicator. "Open Channel S, Illya are you there?"

"Yes, and what a disgusting show you put on."

"Jealous, tovarisch."

"Really Napoleon, after all, that is what you are here for to keep the attention away from Jo and I."

"Okay," with a chuckle, "I will inform Mr. Waverly that we have arrived and are settled in. What are the plans for later?"

"There is a campfire this evening. Afterwards, we will do a little recon in the labs here."

"Ah a campfire is a great place to meet others and get to know people, great idea. I will see you at the campfire then," Napoleon clicked off and placed his call to Waverly.

"Mr. Solo, they have found two more students down. Do not take long to figure this out. That makes seven," leaving an empty communicator staring back at Napoleon.

"Yes, sir," he answered into an empty pen.

**One week before**

Although always there to assist, Jo found campus life exciting, nightly campfires, sing-a-longs, and other activities delighted her. More than once, the men met her at an activity to go on a recon.

Seeing the innocent of the moment in her eyes hurt Illya. He knew what sort of lives the two of them had missed out on. Multiple state-run orphanages, shuttled from one labor camp to another, then state ran specialty schools, military service, and then ordered to join UNCLE as a Soviet agent never left them time to just be a child.

Napoleon and Illya met in the forest behind the campus after one of their classes, "Where Jo?"

"Homework, my friend. She is taking this experience extremely seriously. "

"Illya, she seems withdrawn from this assignment, is she okay?"

"I believe that she is discovering what could have been. She will deal with it, but it does not mean the desire is not there. "Napoleon glanced at his partner, "And you?"

"I feel guilty. I wanted so much for her, and could not ensure any of it. It hurts to see what could have been."

Neither man had heard Jo entering coming up behind them. "What type of spies are you two? I could have shot both of you before you got your guns out," her grin turned to sadness, "Do not fear. I will not let either of you down. I am an agent first, person second. I have always known where my responsibilities lie."

Hugging each man, "What was and what could have been can never be revisited. So what are the plans for tonight?"

**The night before**

Breaking into the final lab was more difficult that the other they had entered. The locks were of better quality and an alarm needed to be bypassed. After entering, Illya and Jo began to go through the papers in the draws, nothing was in evident that could give them a clue.

Napoleon kept watch while searching for any other place papers could be hiding. "A safe," he announced.

Illya quickly joined him. With a mock bow, he let Illya open it. As soon as the door to the safe opened, a light started to flicker on the desk, "Damn, a silent alarm. Get out," Napoleon tossed the papers in the safe at Jo, "Now!"

The two men pulled their guns covering her as she exited the window. As Illya started climbing out, bullet buzzed his head. Dropping to the ground, Illya heard "Drop your gun, Mr. Solo."

Illya could see Napoleon lowering his gun and standing before the window. Before anyone could come nearer, Illya reached up, grabbed his partner's shirt, and pulled him out of the window. Surprised at Solo disappearance, the men ran to the window.

By the time they arrived, there was no sign of Solo or whoever else was helping him. "Search the area," a voice demanded, "They have the files."

Arriving at Illya and Jo's room, Napoleon shook himself, "Thanks, I think. Every muscle in my body hurts."

Illya shrugged his shoulders, "I could have let them take you."

"I'm not complaining. Did you get to look them over?" glancing toward Jo and the papers.

"This is not my specialty but from what I do know; this fungus is something I never saw before."

Illya examined the papers over her shoulder. "I have not either."

"Okay, I'm no good here anymore. I'll take them to headquarters and notify you where we will go from here." With that he quickly changed into the clothes stored in their apartment, "Take care. Just because they didn't spot you don't mean they won't be looking."

With that Napoleon left the dorm and climbed into a car that had been sitting on the side of the dorm waiting for use.


	2. Chapter 2

**Llano, Texas**

The three agents checked into the Days Inn upon arriving in Llano, Texas. They had driven the 74 mile to give them a planning opportunity for their next move. The last two bodies had been found in the town, near the Llano River Dam below the Llano Bridge. The small community was distraught and fear replaced the usual calm of the town.

As Jo opened the door to their room, Napoleon volunteered, "We only have two beds. I help out and share a bed with Jo."

"In your dreams, Solo," Jo shot back, "I have the pull out bed."

Illya shook his head, "It is Waverly and the budget. Two rooms would have made more sense. Before we do anything else, we better check in with the local office of the Texas Rangers and then eat."

"Always thinking with your stomach, Tovarisch."

Checking in, the Ranger in charge escorted the three agents into his office. "I'm Napoleon Solo; these are my associates Illya and Jo Kuryakin."

Each agent offered their ID for inspection. "Could you fill us in on what is known so far? When we left Austin, an autopsy had not been completed yet."

Shaking their hands, "Just call me Samuel."

Looking over the agents, Samuel responded, "Here are the pictures, the computer printout that goes with them, also the completed autopsy reports. Girlie are you sure you want to look at them, they are pretty graphic."

Illya placed his hand on Jo arm; feeling her annoyance, "Thank you for your concern sir, but Miss Kuryakin is our expert." Napoleon handed the photos and printout to her first, and the autopsy reports to Illya.

"Well okay then, if you are sure she can handle it. As you can see them kids were in the water for a few days before we found them. The decreased flow from the dam and the boulders in the river kept them from going farther downstream or we would've found them sooner."

Jo spread out the photos for them all to examine, "Napoleon, they have the same sores that the other bodies had and according to these printouts they match perfectly. If you look here," she pointed out the area of the stomach, "The bruising we found on the other bodies is present."

"Illya?"

"Same here Napoleon, same fungus in the bloodstream and internal bleeding. Only difference is the water in the lungs before death. Seems that they were not dead yet when they either were placed or fell into the water to die."

"Samuel, could we have copies of this information for our files?" Napoleon asked, "That way we can compare them with other information we have."

"Figure you guys would want it. Here you go. Girlie do you want me to wrap up those pictures and printouts for you."

"В Arche! Я хотел бы придерживаться эти фотографии ... (The idiot! I would like to stick these pictures...).

"Jo," Napoleon shook his head. The last thing they needed was for the local law not to cooperate, "Sir, Miss Kuryakin is not a girlie. She is a highly trained agent. I would appreciate her being treated as such."

"Look girl… Miss Kuryakin, no offense meant. Just not use to girls actively involved in law enforcement." He tipped his hat to her.

"No offense taken."

As the agents stood, "We will be examining the site and the surrounding area at first light. Thank you for your time."

"I'll meet you there at 7 am, if that not too early for you 'all". The agents agreed and left.

Finding Jo leaning on the car, Napoleon gave one of his disarming smiles, "You okay? I forgot that sometimes men can be a little condescending."

"It is the 60's for heaven sake. Women's rights were granted in 1920 in the US. Haven't these people caught up with the times yet?" Jo spit out.

"Come on, let's eat. Illya found an interesting place," hoping to calm down his agent.

**Dinner at the Cooper Old-time Pit**

Illya pulled into Cooper's Old-time Pit, and it turn out to be his idea of paradise. They were allowed to choose their own beef brisket, ribs, pork shoulder, or chicken cooking on outdoor pits of wood embers.

The steaks and chops were over an inch thick and at least eight inches round. When asked if he could choose two items, the cooks assured him that he could and were surprised to see him pick out the biggest chop and steak he could find.

Napoleon chose the ribs while Jo the chicken. Inside they were able to choose salads, potatoes, veggies, and other extras for the price of the meat. Illya's two dishes were overflowing with food.

"Hey honey, is he really going to eat all that," the cashier asked Jo who was paying for their meals.

Smiling, "Yes, and probably dessert also."

As Jo started to walk toward the table, two men came in and stood in her way, "Hey girlie, how around eating with us."

"No thank you, my friends are waiting for me."

Looking toward Napoleon and Illya, "Come on doll, we can offer you much more than them," one said grabbing her arm.

Napoleon went to stand, but Illya grabbed his arm, "Let her handle this, if she needs a hand she will call. Besides, better them than the ranger. She needs to work off some stream," Illya explained returning to his food.

Taking his hand from her arm, she bent his thumb, quickly bringing the man to his knees.

The second one came rushing toward her. She sidestepped him, tripping him as he went by landing him on top of his friend. Within a minute, the two men were on the ground looking up at her, "I would stay down if I were you. As I said gentlemen, my friends are waiting." She walked away leaving them glaring at her.

A small cheer went up from the group of customers. The men were known for being bullies.

Taking her plate to the table, "Next meal is on one of your expense accounts," and began eating.

As they were leaving, Samuel walked in. After hearing about the altercation, he came over to the table, "You all right, girlie?" Jo glared at him, "Sorry, Miss Kuryakin?"

Looking from Napoleon, Illya to Samuel, "Actually, I feel very relaxed. Thank you," and continued to leave the place.

"You guys didn't help her?"

"She needed the exercise, and we were eating," Illya shrugged, "Beside the men really were outnumbered when they decided to pick on her," and followed her out leaving Samuel staring after the agents.

**Llano Dam**

Early the next morning, Samuel and agents were examining the dam and bridge below it. Showing them where the bodies were found, "They were caught in the rocks over there," point to a spot in the center of the river which now had decreased to a brook because of the dam.

Napoleon, Illya, and Jo did rock, paper, scissors and Napoleon won. Illya and Jo removed their shoes, and rolled up their pants, "Next time it your turn," Illya informed his partner.

The two reached the area where the bodies had been struck. Exploring the area, Illya picked up something and showed it to Jo. They searched further and found a few other items.

"What did they find?" Samuel questioned Napoleon.

"Not sure but here they come."

Meeting them at the shore, Illya showed Napoleon some glass vials, "Seems like a strange thing to be found out there. I not sure we can get anything from them, but it worth a try."

Napoleon agreed and suggested they look at the top of the dam also.

Unable to see how the bodies could have gone over the top, the agents returned to the car.

"Open Channel D, please," Napoleon asked for Waverly. "Sir, we looked over the site, autopsy report, and photos. This is definitely another case. Also, three empty vials were found in the same spot as one of the bodies. Could you send someone from our Austin office to pick them up?"

"Okay, someone will meet you at your hotel in about… hmmmmp one hour. Well Mr. Solo I suggest the three of your find out what is going on, and deal with it immediately before we find more bodies. Out."

Napoleon once again held a silent pen, "Yes sir," he growled as he looked at it.

"Not much for conversation is he?" Samuel said as he looked over Napoleon's way.

As Napoleon was going to make a comment, Illya pushed him out of the way and yelled, "Down," just a bullets bounced off the surrounding rocks. Pulling their guns, the agents looked around. "Everyone okay."

Each person gave a shout, letting the others know they were not hurt. After hearing a car roared off down the road, they slowly rose, "Someone doesn't want us here," Napoleon said holstering his gun. As each stood, they did a quick check to make sure everything was working.

Samuel studied the agents, "You guys use to this kind of thing. Seems to me, you're not surprised."

"It happens more often than I care to count," Napoleon answered brushing off his clothes, "Jo, Illya check out the road. I will see if I can find any usable bullets." As he examined the rocks for intact bullets, Samuel stood in front of him.

Picking up a few intact bullets, Samuel put his hand on his shoulder.

Napoleon gave him a look and then glanced on the hand on his shoulder, "That's never a good idea when dealing with an agent."

Removing his hand, "Look Solo, I'm not use to people taking pot shots at people around here. Who is responsible for this?"

Napoleon slowly shook his head. This seemed to be the question he is always asked and when explained most still don't understand. "It's a Thrush operation, Samuel. Thrush is an organization of people who have only one goal, to rule the world and not for the better."

Samuel thought about it for a few minutes, "And these Thrush people, why would they want to come to our nice quiet town."

"Actually, that is what we are here to find out. They have many scientists from all over working overtime trying to develop things that will let them rule the world. If deaths are caused by their experiments, they are okay with it as long as they win."

"Napoleon, here," Jo called out. Running up the side of the road, the two men reached her at the same time.

In the dirt, there were burn marks from the car. "Looks more like a jeep." Jo observed.

Illya returned from examine the other side of the road, "Nothing."

"Samuel, is there a place in town that we can look over the whole area?" Napoleon felt that they might find something just looking over the area.

"Well, we can always climb the old Red Top Jail. It's on the top of the hill; use to hang guys on the fifth floor there."

"Wonderful, I always wanted to see a gallows when I'm not the victim," Napoleon said remember the last time Thrush threatened to hang him to get Illya out in the open (The Maze Affair).

**Thrush from Housekeepers**

Before heading toward the jail, the agents with Samuel stopped by their room. As they neared the door, Napoleon signaled them back "Someone is in the room and I don't think it maid service."

The noise from the room allowed Illya to open the door without notice. "Please, place your head on the top of your head. I do not believe we asked for housekeeping services today," he instructed.

The two men started to turn guns out, but were down before it was completed. "What the hell?" Samuel yelled, "You killed them."

"No, they are just sleeping. We use sleep darts in our guns most of the time. Another difference between us and Thrush. Shall we tie up our guest, Napoleon," Illya asked.

Waiting for the men to awake, Napoleon looked them over. "Typical Thrush, no fingerprints, labels, or ID. Good thing we didn't leave our files here."

"Look Solo; what do you plan to do with these guys. I won't put up with no rough stuff."

"Samuel, we are trying to avoid other deaths. These gentlemen know where the people who are creating this fungus are hiding. We need the information to stop it. Look, we will be using truth serum on them, no pain or rough stuff."

As the men woke, Napoleon greeted them, "Gentlemen, so nice to see you."

"Solo, you guys are dead. You're not going to get anything from us."

"Jo," he nodded toward her.

She drew up the serum and injected each man, "Did you ever wonder why Thrush doesn't build up their resistance to drugs like we do?"

"Easy, why bother when usually they only know enough to get through their assignments and nothing else. They should be ready."

After an hour it was clear that the only information they could provide was that the lab was entered through a mountain mine but was unsure what the name of the cave or mine was.

During this time, the Austin agent picked up the vials and had left.

After allowing Samuel to take the prisoners to jail, they met at the Red Top Jail.

As the agents climbed the stairs to the fifth floor, Illya in the led "At least we know that Thrush is aware of our presence. We must be on the right track."

Looking around the top floor, one mountain was visible. Next stop, Babyhead Mountain.


	3. Chapter 3

**To Babyhead Mountain**

Early the next morning the three agents headed north out of Llano for the nine and a half miles drive to Babyhead Mountain. Within minutes, they were driving through rugged hills that surrounded the small town.

Both sides of the road had rocky areas filled with desert plants. The rocks and ground was painted with various shades of red, giving a Mars like quality. Patches of cactuses with brilliant yellow, red, and orange flowers littered the fields.

Babyhead Mountain in the past had been of interest to scientists and miners. The legends of deaths from unknown sources kept most of the locals away in the past.

Even today, the mountain was avoided by most. After some research when they returned to their hotel room, they had found that rumors of noises and lights kept most the legends alive.

"We have company," Illya announced from behind the wheel. Two cars were gaining on them from the rear. Pulling their guns, Napoleon and Joe assumed defensive positions, "Try to lose them, Tovarisch."

"What do you think I am trying to do? If you can do better, you can drive."

"Now, now boys let's no fight among ourselves when we have two car loads of men that want to kill us," the banter was to help each agent deal with the situation.

"I would take over for you, but am kind of busy right now. Just try to keep the car in one piece if possible, Waverly not going to be happy if we total another one," Napoleon yelled out.

Illya took the twisting, hilly highway at 70 miles an hour, although still following the two cars began to fall behind. When Thrush was far enough behind that they couldn't see the UNCLE car, a small dirt road covered in overhanging branched appeared on the left.

Illya turned the car onto it immediately covering the car with the overhanging branches. Tearing down the road for a few seconds, Illya pulled into a grove of trees. Turning the car off, they waited to ensure they wouldn't be followed.

Hearing the other two cars zoom by, the agents "They seem to know what we are going to do, you two okay?" turning from the driver's seat Illya asked, "The Ranger?"

"I really do not think so. Even though he is so madding, I do not see him working with Thrush. This town is so small, maybe they just are following us around," Jo suggested.

"I have to agree with her Illya. I think they pick this area as it so easy to watch who comes and goes. Well let's get going, any ideas as to how to get there besides using Highway 16."

"Well this road continues in the general direction and seems to climb, why don't we follow it for a while," with that Illya started the car.

As they drove on Napoleon wondered aloud, "What I don't get is why here. It's a small town, nothing worth mentioning. The mountain is just a foothill really, and other than Miller's Mine there nothing else of value here that we know of. Any ideas?"

"The only thing of value is the Llanite. It nothing more than a hypabyssally intruded rhyolite with phenocrysts of microcline and euhedral quartz. The quartz crystals are blue hexagonal bipyramids. According to the locals, this is the only place in the world it can be found. I believe there are a few other places, but this is the major source of it," Jo explained what she had found out about the area.

"What does all that mean?" Not one for science Napoleon wasn't sure what she had just said.

"Simply it granite with light blue to dark blue quartz spread throughout it. Actually, very pretty but of no value that I can see."

Illya thought about it for a second, "Well we all know Thrush has taken many items of "non-value" and found interesting uses for them. Until we can find this out for ourselves, we will never know."

The two agents silently pondered about what Thrush had created this time to destroy the world.

**The old man**

A noise began to emerge from the car, "Damn, we are almost out of gas. We must have hit something; we were full when we left."

As the car came to a stop, the agents climbed out. Taking out a map of the area, Illya found where they were. "It looks about another two miles to the base of the mountain. Then a climb of 1,617 feet to the summit and just below that is the Miller's Mine."

"Good thing we came dressed for a hike," Jo teased Napoleon who had complained about the jeans, flannel shirts, and boots that they had insisted he wear.

The beautiful but hilly, rough terrain made walking slow and difficult. With the sharp vegetation, any slip resulted in small cuts.

About half way up the mountain, the three agents found an old man sitting on the porch of a rundown shack. The jeep parked in front wasn't in terrific shape but at least it looked drivable.

"Jo, you stay here as backup. Illya and I will try to borrow the jeep and head for the top of the mountain. Hopefully we can see where the mine opening is so that we can get in. Then we'll make some plans."

"My partner and I need a jeep to get up that mountain side," Napoleon was attempting to negotiate with the old man. "It will only be for a few hours."

"Listen sonny," the old man was not giving in eagerly, "This here jeep is my only way around. Where's your car, anyways," he looked at the three agents, chewing his tobacco, spitting at times.

"It ran out of gas, Illya lied.

"I don't know sonny. What kind of insurance do I have that you will return it? I won't want you not bringing my jeep back."

Napoleon thought a minute, "Look we will leave her here with you," pointing to Jo, "We won't take off with your jeep if she's here."

"Napoleon Solo! You…..You…." Jo was furious.

"Come on Jo, you're staying behind anyway. Besides we do what we need to do to get the job done."

"Okay, sonny. You got a deal," smiling at Jo, he threw them the keys. "Hope you can cook honey, I ain't had a good home cooked meal in a while."

"Solo, you will pay for this," she yelled after them as they pull out.

As they drove away, Illya looked at his partner, "My friend, you are living dangerously."

"Come on Illya, she'll get over it."

"True, true but will you be able to when she gets done with you?"

The conversation ended with Napoleon thinking, "Maybe that hadn't been the best way to handle the situation."

After the two agents had left, Jo walked into the shack, mumbling in Russian under her breath. "Hey girlie, don't worry. You don't have to fix me nothing."

Jo turned toward the old man, to see him holding a shotgun in her direction. "As you will be too busy answering our questions to cook. Raise your hands, Miss Kuryakin. They want you alive up there, so don't make me shoot to slow you down."

Before Jo could respond, the Thrushie came through the door. Motioning her to move toward the porch, they had her preceded them. With one guard on each side, they went through the door.

As they reach the opening, she delivered blows with both elbows into the stomach of the guards. When they started to fall, she finished running through the door, only to suffer a blow to her head and feel darkness taking over.

As they continued up the hill in the borrowed jeep, Napoleon looked at his friend, "What is it Tovarisch, you have that look on your face again."

"It too easy, Napoleon."

"Easy, they tried to kill us on the way up here. Isn't that enough excitement for you?"

"But they really did not search for us after we lost them. They just kept going. Then this jeep-interesting that it was just sitting there, and he just allowed us borrow it. Something is wrong."

"You forgot he traded Jo for it."

"No I didn't forget. Napoleon, I know you think I need to do everything the hard way, but I really think we should get out of this jeep and continue on foot."

"Okay, you have been right too many times not to take your concerns to heart."

Illya pulled over the jeep and the two began climbing. About 150 feet later, the jeep explored. "Tovarisch, I once again bow to your feelings."

Both men raised themselves from the ground where the explosion had thrown them. "I guess we walk again. Napoleon, if he knew about us…"

"I know."

**Miller's Mine**

Reaching the area of the mine, the two men studied the vicinity. "Not too many guards. Any hope they believed that they killed us?"

"Napoleon, all they have to do is examine the jeep, and they will know that we were not blown to pieces. No, I think this is their way of arranging a trap for us. The question is do we fall for it."

Discussing opinions, they heard a jeep pull up, "Get more guards out here, Solo and Kuryakin weren't in the jeep when it blew. Bring her along."

They watched as Jo was pulled out of the jeep semi-conscious. "Well that answers that question. Do you have your little insurance policy with you, Illya?"

Smiling he pulled out what looked like a small radio with a headset and turned it on.

"Take her to the office, the boss wants to talk to her." They could hear feet walking on rock.

"Illya," Napoleon began but stopped when Illya raised his hand.

When the walking ended a door opened, "Sir, here she is," tying her to that chair."

"Seventy-two feet to the door from the entrance, Napoleon. By the echoes and sounds, the cave seems to have solid walls no pathways off before the office."

It always surprised Napoleon at how much his partner could figure out by just concentrating. He was good, but Illya was exceptional.

Listening to what was happening inside, they hoped to find out what was going on.

"Miss Kuryakin, open your eyes. We both know you are awake; let's be professional about this. I am sure you have many questions. My name is Inocencio Oreato."

Slowly Jo, picked up her head and her eyes turned steel blue as she glared at him, "What is going on?"

"I have no problems explaining it to you, as you will be helping us. We are developing a fungus that will be used to control the population. However, it is not yet ready to be released too many problems yet. As to why here, we have found the Llanite helps in the process, and this is the largest supply of it in the world."

"And what do you expect from me."

"As to why you are still alive, we need your expertise on a computer problem we have run into."

"Surely you do not really think I would help you."

"Miss Kuryakin. Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin were killed in the jeep they borrowed. No one will be coming for you. We have time to get what we need, and I promise you that we will. Take her to the room."

Turning her head on her shoulder, she was able to dislodge the small pin serving as a microphone and let it fall to the floor.

The guards untied her, manhandled her out of the chair, and rebound her hands behind her back.

Illya and Napoleon continued to examine the area. The mine now had numerous guards around its mouth and patrolling the area.

"Okay, Napoleon. What's the plan?"

"First we need get into the place unseen, find out what they are up to, destroy it, find and rescue Jo, and escape in one piece. Normal day at the office."

"Are you sure that is all?" Illya questioned sarcastically.

"Did I forget something?"

Illya shook his head, "I knew we should have eaten before we left this morning."

Smiling at him, Napoleon knew exactly how he felt. Once more into a Thrush trap with only their skill and luck to protect them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Samuel joins the party**

Napoleon and Illya spent the next eight hours exploring the mountain, watching the guards' activities, and examining the hillside around the mine.

"Well that did a lot of good," Napoleon was frustrated. "No other entrances or exits that I see, the hillside is too rocky for good cover, and the guards seem to have no set pattern. Any more from the Oreato's office?" the pin microphone that Jo had managed to drop there had been silent.

"Nothing. Napoleon we need to have a plan that will at least guarantee some success."

"Thanks for stating the obvious," shaking his head, "Sorry Tovarisch. It just seems like we are getting no breaks on this one."

Illya waved him to silence. Behind them, they heard branches breaking and boots crunching on rock. Splitting up, each man took the opposite side of the sound in order to come up behind the intruder.

As they advanced, Napoleon saw the intruder first, Diving into the man's legs, he brought him down. Looking at the man, he became angry. "What are you doing here, Samuel? These guys aren't as nice as us. They shoot first and maybe ask questions later if you are still alive."

"I saw your car off the side road when I went to investigate a report of an explosion. When I saw the jeep blown to pieces, I had a feeling you guys had something to do with it." Looking around he added, "Where's girlie?"

"Look Samuel, this is not a game for amateurs. These men kill for the fun of it. Let us handle it, will you?" Napoleon was irritated.

"Sonny, this is my town, my mountain, and my job. I have been a ranger since you were a babe in diapers. Don't tell me to go away, it isn't happening. Now I asked you once, where girlie is?"

Illya stepped in between the two men. They were both acting like alpha male and nothing was getting done.

"Unless you two want to invite Thrush into this conversation, I would suggest that we all calm down and talk a little quieter. My friend, perhaps Samuel can help us get into the site."

"I will ask only one more time, where is girlie?"

Feeling that answering the question would be beneficial to what they were trying to do and convince him how dangerous this assignment was, "Jo is a guest of those gentlemen down there."

"Isn't that your sister and you let that little girl go in by herself. What were you guys thinking?"

"Look Jo is one of my agents. She knew and accepted the risks. We aren't giving up on her."

The two men continued to glare at each other for another minute. Napoleon took a deep breath, and decided that man could actual be an ally. "You're right Tovarisch, sorry Samuel it just one of those days."

Samuel held out his hand, "Okay, I don't like the idea of that little girl in those guys' hands, after all you have told me about them." As the two men shook, Illya held up his hand and pointed to his headphones.

In Oreato office, Jo had been brought in and sat with her hand bound in front of her. Although she was still having problems focusing and hearing after the eight hours in the ROOM, when she had been returned to the office, she noticed there were no guards outside.

"Well, Miss Kuryakin, what did you think of our little room?"

"Very enjoyable Oreato, thank you," she shoot back at him, "I do not know what I like better during the rotations in that room- the freezing cold, burning heat, darkness, bright lights, loud noises, or the silence."

"I see the hours you spent in the room have not improved your disposition. I suppose you don't feel like help us yet."

Giving him a glare that expressed her feelings, she said nothing.

"Okay. I guess we will need to step this up. Bring the LSD," he snapped his finger at a guard.

Listening in Illya told the Napoleon and Samuel that they were about to give Jo LSD to heighten whatever experience she had just been through the next time. He continued to listen in.

"Last chance Miss Kuryakin, either you agree or we are going to make those experiences a little more interesting with some LSD. In between 30 to 45 minutes from now, everything you feel before during your experience in the room will be amplified."

Two guards held her down, as another forced her mouth open. Once opened, Oreata placed a paper-thin wafer on her tongue. Her mouth was then forced shut and held that way until it melted.

"Leave her here. Miss Kuryakin. I will see you in 30 minutes," and leaving one guard to watch her everyone else left.

Jo hoped the pin was still there, "Hope anyone listening in is ready, because here I come," and pretended to pass out.

Thinking that she was feeling the effects already, the guard leaned down to check her out. Jo head butted him and grabbed his gun holding it in her bounded hands. These men didn't believe that a mere woman could get herself free. 'Their bad luck' she thought to herself.

With no one in sight, she raced down the hall, hit the entrance and started shooting as she exited.

Meanwhile on the hill overlooking the entrance, the three men had moved closer to the cave opening when she had let them know she was coming. As Jo emerged, they gave her cover fire to continue towards them.

Caught by surprise, the personnel outside were slow to react allowing her to get to the jeep parked in front that the three men had already jumped into. Illya started it moving as soon as she was in.

**Napoleon Has to Say NO!**

As they drove away, Napoleon and Samuel shot out the tires of the remaining jeeps. It wasn't until they were on their way down the hill that reinforcement streamed out of the cave. With no way to chase them, the four made their way towards town safely.

"We need a place to hide her. LSD trips usually last somewhere between 6 and 12 hours if you are have used it before, but she doesn't so who knows how long it will last and we can't wait to get back there," Napoleon told Samuel.

"Can you think of someplace? We need to tuck her safely away with someone watching her, make plans, and get back to the cave before they decide to move out."

"My sister got a place about five miles back on the top of a hill. Old house that been remodeled with a driveway that snakes up the hill, code locked gate and nothing else around. Actually the way it set up, you won't see how to get in without knowing it there," Samuel offered.

"Okay, give directions to Illya." Napoleon was holding Jo head on his shoulder, "How you doing?"

"Napoleon, there are such pretty colors all over. You are so pretty," Jo was beginning her LSD trip. Everything was spinning and colorful.

Her hand gently stroking his face, "You are my Nappy baby."

Next thing Napoleon knew she was attempting to take off his shirt, "Jo stop it!"

"What do not you want me? You always say you want me when we are in New York, and you ARE the best lover in the world" she went to kiss him and fell onto his lap.

"Josephina Nichovia Kuryakin, cut it out," he said pulling his shirt back down just as they stopped at the driveway. Samuel jumped out of the jeep so he could open the code locked gate.

"Napoleon, I do not feel well at all," Jo informed him. When they reached the house, Napoleon helped her into a bedroom. As he attempted to leave, she grabbed him, "Come to bed with me."

As he was fighting off her hands, Illya entered with a syringe, smiling at what he saw, "Really Napoleon, cannot you control your needs for a while."

"This wasn't my idea. She very determined. I'm trying to play the knight in shining armor here and she trying to molest me," pushing her hands down.

"We need to knock her out for her safety and your dignity," Illya said attempting not to laugh at his partner attempting to fight off Jo.

Once the sedate took effect, the two agents joined Samuel in the living room. He had been right. The house was well hidden and unless someone knew about it would keep Jo safe.

"Samuel, do you have someone who can stay here with Jo. With the unknown effects of LSD on her, other than those we saw already," Illya smirked at his partner, "We cannot leave her alone."

Calling his girlfriend Liz who was a nurse, Samuel arranged for her to come right over and watch Jo. With that arranged, the three men sat down to make plans.

**The Rear Entrance**

As they were discussing ways to get inside, Samuel spoke up, "Why don't we go through the rear entrance?"

"There is another entrance?" We found none in the records or with our visual search."

"Well Mr. Solo very few people know about it because of how dangerous it is. However with your gun toting friend back there, it probably safer than going through the front door."

Once again the men climbed the mountain, this time with Samuel in the lead. They had changed into black clothes, and Illya was carrying a backpack full of explosives.

The cool dry night air helped make the climb easier. Although lighting the way in the efforts to climb the mountain, attempts to keep from being seen was complicated by the full moon.

Red soil and rocks which earlier had given the ground a Mars appearance now giving it the appearance of a sea of blood. "I hope that not a sign of things to come," Illya ever the pessimist offered.

"You know Tovarisch, you could make a Sunday walk in the park seem like a funeral march."

"Remember Napoleon, I am Russian. We believe that good luck is just not with us."

Samuel examined the two. Physically difference as night and day, the two seems to be two parts of the same whole. Never having a partner himself, he knew that if he could find someone who could make him feel safe like these two seemed to do, he would have found a true friend.

When they reached the opening, Illya removed the backpack. Taking a rest, they snacked on trail mix and water. "Okay, this is what you'll find ahead. The path in the cave is makes it necessary to go single file. Some areas will make crawling necessary."

"Cave walls in some places will be very sharp, so be careful. Light reflecting off our hat helmets could be a little problem, but as long as we keep them tilted down the reflection won't be bad. Questions?"

Samuel handed each man knee pads. "These should help with the crawling part of the trail and keep you from tearing your knees apart."

Inside the cave was as Samuel warned shallow passages, darkness, and sharp rocks. Sound traveled so talking was out of the question. In single file, each man was lost in his own thoughts.

The sameness of the cave allowed Napoleon's mind wandered as they moved on. He knew that whatever Thrush was up to, it was their job to stop them. Falling over a missed rock, Illya grabbed him before he hit the ground, "Come on my friend, and pay attention."

Samuel called for a break at this time. "Rest for five minute and get your concentration back, otherwise you could wind up in trouble."

Napoleon whisper to his friend, "Sorry, the quiet. I was thinking how many times we have been at this point. Trying to break into their site, destroying whatever they are concocted this time, and getting out alive. Sometimes I worry that I might be getting to old for this line of work."

Illya smiled and handed him water, "My friend, it is the cave. The darkness and sameness is getting to you. Many men have died because they fell under its spell."

Napoleon drank deeply from the bottle, "Thanks it was like a hypnotic effect. Let's go."

Walking on, the three mean began to here faint noises coming from ahead. Samuel signaled for them to turn off their lights and remain silent.

Looking into the entrance of the cave's antechamber, they saw no one. The sound seemed to continue to come from beyond the antechamber.

Entering the cave one to the left, the other to the right, the agents had Samuel follow them. The darkness in the antechamber was lightened by the sparkle blues of the llanite.

As they processed further into the antechamber of the cave, bright lights snapped on and the sound of rifles being cocked could be heard. "Please place your guns on the floor, gentleman" came a command. Outnumbered and unable to see clearly, their guns were gently placed where told.

As the lights lessen in intensity, Oreato stepped forward and welcomed the agents. "Mr. Solo, Mr. Kuryakin, it took you long enough to arrive here. We have been waiting for quite a while. And who is your friend may I ask?"

"I'm Samuel Boyds, the Head of the Texas Rangers in these parts. What are you boys doing here?"

"Really gentlemen. Bringing an innocent into our dealing, your Mr. Waverly won't be pleased with you. Come along, we have much to discuss. I don't suppose you would like to tell me where Miss Kuryakin has gotten to."

The silence that followed gave him their answer. "We will worry about that a bit later. Right now I am happy you joined our little group Mr. Kuryakin. Your knowledge of science, fungus, and computers make you a much better choice for this project than your sister."

Looking into Illya's eyes, "What no 'I won't do it'? I assure you Mr. Kuryakin, you will or they will suffer greatly," pointing to the other two men.


	5. Chapter 5

**Captured**

Before anyone could react, Napoleon shoved Samuel back out the opening, "Run."

The two agents knew they wouldn't be able to get out as well, but fought the guards to give Samuel the time to escape. Rifles pointed at their heads, finally stopped the fight. "Find that ranger!" Oreato shouted furiously, "He could bring UNCLE down on us."

Samuel ran into the darkness continuing to push forward. His knowledge of the backdoor to the cave gave him an advantage over those who were chasing him. Finding a small side opening in the cave; he hid and waited for Thrush to given up the search.

Oreato lead the agents through the halls and to his office. He was treating them as guests rather than as enemies—sometimes this was a more worrisome as the temperament of a friendly enemy could not be counted on.

The agents sat hands cuffed behind their backs, in chairs facing Oreato's desk. Guards were inside and outside the office, each with their guns pointed towards the men.

"Must have learned from the experience with Jo," Napoleon quipped.

One of the guards leaned over to backhand him but was stopped by Oreato. "No, no they are our guests. Yes, that little girl did teach us not to trust any of you."

"I am sure you gentlemen have a lot of questions. Let me tell you about what we are doing here first, and then I can clarify any other questions you have."

Illya and Napoleon looked at each other. They were used to Thrush bragging, but this man was actually being exceptionally helpful.

"Oh, I see you gentlemen can't believe that I am so willing to let you know what we are doing here. I believe as Mr. Kuryakin will be helping us, he should know all the facts. Knowing that you will not keep the project details from your partner, I figure it better if I make sure everyone get the facts from the horse's mouth, I believe they say," he smiled at them.

Illya gazed at him with contempt.

"I see you don't believe you will help us. We will see. Anyways, as you have seen we are having trouble with our fungus. The side effects are killing our subjects, an outcome which is unacceptable. We want slaves not bodies."

"What is it supposed to do?" Illya probed though he knew that they will probably have to destroy it. The scientist in him wanted to know what had been developed. Often he found the two parts of his makeup in conflict with each other.

"Good Mr. Kuryakin, I glad to see you're interested in our little project." Both agents regarded him closely. The man seemed to be insane—not the first time they had met a scientist who had gone over the bend, but usually this type of person was the most dangerous and most volatile.

"Gentlemen, we have found a way to affect the specific neurotransmitters of the left side of the brain that are responsible for processing information in a linear manner. As these transmitters receives pieces of information, sorts and arranges them in a logical order to draw a conclusion by blocking this process, our subjects can't make decisions that are useful."

"Neurotransmitters, I have heard of them, but I don't understand how they work exactly?" sometimes the lack of scientific knowledge was a handicap in his work.

Before Illya could answer, Oreato continued, "Sorry, Mr. Solo when I start talking science I forget not everyone isn't as interested in it as I am. They are chemicals that carry messages between the brain and nerve cells. Nerve cells carry the brains messages to the body. In our case, these messages are blocked. Any other questions?"

Napoleon shrugged his shoulders and Oreato continued, "The problem we have found is that blocking these specific neurotransmitters, we have caused the body to develop internal bleeding and body sores. Our scientists are sure the computer can find a solution to the problem. However, our people are at a loss to find it. Mr. Kuryakin that is where you come in."

"Why create this here?" Napoleon questioned.

"Because of the mineral Llanite, it's found here in very large quantity of course."

Now Illya's curiosity was getting the better of him, "What does Llanite has to do with this project?"

"You see, we have found that by filtering our grow lights with the multicolored quartz in Llanite, we are able to radically change the composition of the fungus increasing its effect on the brain. I'm afraid better brains than mine would have to explain the minute details to you. However, we are unsure if the changes made by the Llanite are causing the bleeding."

"How is it spread?" Illya questioned more to himself than anyone else, but Oreato heard him.

"The water supply," he answered, "After the fungus is prepared, it is ground into a fine power and placed in water. Simple really. Now you realize why we need your expertise Mr. Kuryakin."

"My expertise? I do not understand."

"Come on now Mr. Kuryakin. You are a well-known scientist who likes to tinker with drugs, fungus, and other germs. Plus, although your sister is much better at computer programming, you are a computer expert in your own right."

"See I told you all that knowledge would get you into trouble one day," Napoleon teased his partner.

"Really Mr. Solo, we could do without your comments. Now where was I, oh yes with those skills, I am sure you can help us overcome this small problem. Our scientists believe that there is a glitch in our formula that a fresh eye could spot and fix. You, Mr. Kuryakin, will be that fresh eye."

Illya thought about the process described and the outcome. If what Oreato said was true, then the world could be in trouble. "Sorry, but I must decline your invitation."

Oreato face turned red, and he hammered his fist on the table. "What part of this do you Kuryakins not understand? First your sister, now you. Mr. Kuryakin you don't understand. You will be in on one of the greatest scientic advancement every."

"I am sorry, but my answer is still no. Helping you subjugate the human race is not something I will be involved in."

No longer friendly, Oreato hissed, "You will either help us volunteer, or we will convince you."

"No thank you."

**Interrogation**

"Take these two to the Interrogation cell. Mr. Kuryakin to the wall, Mr. Solo can hang around in the center of it."

As they entered the cell, Illya was shackled to the wall face forward. Napoleon hands were forced up and attached to a chain in the middle of the room. His feet were attached to a ring on the floor. The ceiling chain was then pulled taut causing Napoleon to be held tightly in an upright position.

Cutting off Napoleon's shirt with a knife, the guards prepared him for Oreato. Many had seen his anger before and didn't want him to exact it on them. A few even pitied the man hanging there. Oreato slammed the door open and entered slapping a thick piece of leather strapping against his hand.

"Now Mr. Kuryakin, one last opportunity to change your mind."

Illya looked at his friend. Usually he was the one in Napoleon's position. If he helped them, he might have a chance to do some damage, but that wasn't certain. He knew if he didn't agree, Napoleon would pay the price. He looked over at his partner, and saw him shake his head no.

Saying some of the hardest words ever, "No, thank you. I cannot honor your invitation." He knew that he would have to watch the suffering they planned to his partner and could do nothing to help it.

Oreato handed the strap to one of his men. The man was well over six foot, about 300 lbs., and built like a house. The man stepped back and swung the strap at Napoleon's back.

Napoleon took in a deep breath as it landed. Attempting to hold in on cry of pain, he bit his lip. The strap landed time and again. At the tenth strike, he passed out. "Hold on," Oreato told his man. "Mr. Kuryakin, your answer?"

Illya glanced at his unconscious partner. How he hated this job at times, having to choose between the world and his partner's life. He found that he had no voice, and just shook his head no.

"Take them to the cell. You will have a few hours to think about your answer Mr. Kuryakin before we take the next step." Oreato stormed out of the door leaving his men to remove the two men.

Illya was pushed into the cell, while Napoleon was dumped on the cot by his guards. Illya quickly turned him on his stomach. Grabbing water, Illya removed his own shirt using it to gently wash the blood from Napoleon's back.

Napoleon woke with a moan. Seeing Illya standing by the door examining it for signs of weakness. Remembering the pain he had seen in his partner's eyes, he now understood how Illya felt when Thrush used him to get at Napoleon. The situation often ended with Illya critically hurt and Napoleon feeling guilty.

"Find any way out of here Tovarisch," he asked with the pain coming through in his voice.

Hurrying to his side, "How are you doing?" Kneeing down beside his partner, "I have found no way out yet, but I will."

Napoleon attempted to sit up, but the discomfort prevented it, "Illya, don't blame yourself. It's the way of things: one of us do the bleeding, the other one does the suffering. You just aren't in the habit of being the one who's suffering. Any idea what next?"

"No, but I think it might be my turn except I do not think it will be physical," his voice held the anguish he felt for what they had done to his friend. Not used to being the one watching, had been hard on him. Most people felt that he was unemotional, but in reality he hide it rather effectively except it seems from his partner.

"Well Illya, you and I are pretty safe from being killed. Thrush Central will want to talk to us themselves. So no matter how much they mess us up, we will probably live."

The partners seem to speak volumes as they looked at each other. "Soon they will be coming to take one or both of us out."

The men made plans. As they heard the guards returning, Napoleon feigned unconsciousness again. Illya stood behind the door. As the door opened, they prepared to attack, but the guards did not enter the room.

"Come out Mr. Kuryakin. Really, I find it unbelievable that you didn't realize your cell might be bugged."

After a moment, Illya came out from behind the doorway with his hands up, "I think we have earned another lecture from Waverly, Napoleon," he shot over his shoulder.

"Mr. Kuryakin, have you changed your mind?" Oreato no longer offered any suggested of friendship with the agents, "Or perhaps your partner doesn't mean very much to you."

With a flick of a finger, two guards grabbed Napoleon up and held him between them. Two other grabbed Illya forcing him to face his partner.

The giant of the man was back. He began to beat Napoleon with his fist. With each punch, Napoleon grew weaker until he would have fallen if not held by the guards.

"Mr. Kuryakin your decision?" Oreato indicated Illya who could stop this senseless beating.

"No," Napoleon managed to hiss out between his teeth.

Illya wanted to turn his head from his friend, but knew that Napoleon needed his silent strength to stand up to the punishment. "The answer is still no," he answered heatedly.

The beating continued until Napoleon let unconsciousness take him once again.

**The Room Revisited**

Dropping Napoleon on the cot, Oreato ordered Illya removed from the cell.

Illya was taken to a room where the walls were metal. He could see large banks of lights which were off in the corner. Amplifiers were spaced around the top of the walls. Vents were set in the walls at the bottom. If he needed to guess, he believed that this was the same room Jo had been subjected to.

"Now let me explain what will be happening. We will be causing rapid changes in the environment of this room and these will affect your body dramatically. These changing will include alternating hot and cold, various sounds and quiet, and light and darkness one at a time or other times in combination. The times of each change will vary never letting the body adjust," with this the guards and Oreato left Illya alone and bound to a chair.

Bright lights with blazing heat began once the door was closed. Screaming, babies crying, ringing bells, and other loud noise assaulted his ears. This is going to be a long day, he thought to himself.

After Napoleon destroyed the listening device, Napoleon flipped over the cot. Removing an additional piece of wire from the bed, he fastened a loop hoping he could use it to open the cell door lock.

As he headed toward the door, the guards turned and watched him approach the door, "Get back or get a bullet, your choice."

Napoleon knew that the guards would get tired of watching him so closely and waited for the opportunity to escape.

Illya, in the meantime, experienced the rotations of the sound, light, and heat. His ears rang, eyes burned, and body shook. Finally his body protected itself by sliding into unconsciousness


	6. Chapter 6

**Punishment Continues**

Because the guards believed Illya was too dizzy and nauseated to walk himself, he allowed them to be dragged into the cell and dropped him on his cot. Although walking would have been uncomfortable, Illya didn't want them to know how much strength he really had left.

"Well Tovarisch, you look like something the cat dragged in," Napoleon stated while checking his partner.

"You look no better, I can assure you. Please do not shout," Illya requested crossly, "And hand me a blanket. I am cold, everything I hear echoes, and I cannot focus my eyes."

Napoleon smiled at his partner complaints as he moved slowly from his own beating, handing Illya a blanket. He laughed, "We make a heck of a pair," he whispered in deference of Illya's request to lower his voice. "What happened?"

"I had a visit to the same room they took Jo to. Not exactly something I would recommend for a day of fun and entertainment."

At that moment Oreato approached the cell door, "Well Mr. Kuryakin, have you changed your mind."

Napoleon helped his partner sit up. "I have not."

Oreato scanned at the men, "Perhaps we need to soften you up some more."

Oreato nodded to his men, "Bring Solo and Kuryakin to the integration room."

They were escorted to the room and shackled to the walls opposite to each other. "You Mr. Kuryakin can stop this at any time." Two of the guards stepped forward holding thin rods, "Make sure you don't break anything on Mr. Kuryakin, he will need to be able to work without any hindrance."

Alternating the assault on the two agents, the guards brought the rod across their legs, upper backs, and buttocks. Soon both were groaning with the intensity of pain increasing with each stroke. Napoleon was in worse shape than Illya because of his previous beating, causing him to drift into near unconsciousness.

Oreato signaled for the guards to stop. "Mr. Kuryakin, your decision please?"

Napoleon shook his himself awake once the beating had stopped.

"I have finally decided, I think I would like a steak dinner. How about you Napoleon?"

"Not today, I think I've have had enough tenderizing for one day, seafood would be better."

"Your sense of humor is not appreciated gentlemen. Continue until Kuryakin agrees or they both pass out." Oreato said as he turned going out the door.

Finally returning without Samuel; Oreato's men face his fury. Oreato raged at them, pulled one of their guns and shot the man. "I don't accept failure. Did you leave someone at the entrance to the cave at least?"

"Yes sir, if he's nearby, our men will get him."

Oreato cleared his desk onto the floor with a sweep of one arm, "You better. Find out where that girl Kuryakin was taken, and we will find him." The men waited for him to finish, "NOW!"

Samuel waited until the men had passed him returning to the cave before venturing out of his hiding place. Slowly he proceeded to the entrance. Spotting two guards, one on each side of the cave, he stopped.

A smile crossed his face. Usually his job was hunting down criminals, not being the hunted. He would show them who they were dealing with. He imitated a wolf calling his mate. The two guards became uncertain and began looking around losing their concentration for a moment. Just enough to give Samuel the chance he needed.

Stepping up behind them, he grabbed their heads and slammed them together. One karate chop to each neck and the men were out. Now all he had to do was climb down to the car, join up with girlie, and help get the men out. Right!

**LSD Trip**

Liz had sat with Jo during the night and early morning; she was now sleeping peacefully. At first, she had moaned and was restless in her sleep. Then came the screaming and begging, which finally ending early this morning in crying for the two men who had left with Samuel.

As Jo woke, she scrutinized her surroundings not recognizing where she was. A woman was sleeping the chair next to her, and somewhere in her memory she remembered seeing her earlier.

"Can I have some water please," she asked in a bare whisper. Her throat was so raw from whatever had happened to her.

"Hi there," the woman answered opening her eyes, "Give me a second and I will get you some."

Jo took a sip. It smoothed the pain and helped her voice. "Thanks, where am I? Where is Illya and Napoleon? How long have I been here?"

"You're at my house. Samuel called me about 8 yesterday evening, it now noon, so about 14 hours. Your friends and Samuel told me that they had to go to Miller's Mine." Jo glanced around concerned.

"Don't worry it hidden in the woods up a hill. The friends said to tell you they would be in touch if they could. Otherwise you would know what to do but make sure you are over the flashes first."

"Did they leave a silver pen and gun with you?" Jo needed to report to Waverly. Before she could call in, she heard a car pulling up in front. Grabbing her gun, she directed Liz to hide and went out the back door.

Samuel pulled up in front of the house that Jo was hidden in. As he climbed the stairs, he heard a bullet sliding into place, "No farther, place your hands on top of your head."

Turning around with his hands on his head, he grinned widely, "Girlie, you sure look better than when we left you."

Jo shook her head. She was in no mood to deal with this chauvinistic attitude right now. "You can call me Jo, Miss Kuryakin, even hey you, but would you please stop calling me girlie."

Samuel laughed, "Okay girl…I mean Miss Kuryakin. I promise to try."

Sitting in the living room, a fire blazing in the wood burning stove, Samuel told her what he knew about the agents capture, the cave, and the back entrance, "Don't think we can go through that way again."

"I am afraid Waverly is right. A frontal assault will be the only way to get in there and take out the fungus. That means we will have to watch out for our agents while trying to take out their people," Jo looked over the maps of the area and the geological maps of the inside of the mine.

Noticing a small opening that appeared as a smoke stack at the top of the mind, she asked Samuel about it.

"It's about 3 feet wide at the top, but the drop is over 500 feet down into one of the old branches that was buried in an explosion years ago.

"Can we get through if we have some explosives of our own?"

"Probably, but pretty dangerous." Pointing to a wall between the main cave and the blocked shaft, "This is where the explosion was. What do you have in mind?"

**UNCLE's Move**

Jo smiled as she opened her pen, "Open channel D please and scramble."

"Yes, Miss Kuryakin, what has happened?" Waverly asked.

"Well sir. I believe we will need an assault team, and the use of a certain Englishman who likes to play with explosives almost as much as Illya."

"Very well Miss Kuryakin. Mr. Slate and Miss Dancer will meet you in four hours with the assault team."

"Sir, could you have the team stand by at Austin until we call them in. If Mark and April come into Llano's post office and notify me, we will pick them up to complete the plans."

"Miss Kuryakin remember the destruction of the fungus is your first priority."

"Yes sir," she responded sarcastically to thin air.

After picking up April and Mark at the post office, Liz returned with them to the house.

Greeting her fellow agents, Jo introduced them to Samuel. Shaking his head, he stared at April and declared, "Another girl. What is it with your organization, women fighting just like men? Don't they know that women should be at home raising babies and not shooting people?"

April shot him a look of pure rage. "Never mind April" Jo said to her, "Nothing is going to change his mind."

"Listen here girlies," Samuel began but Mark stepped in to circumvent the potential violence that was about to erupt from his feminine associates.

"Gov may I suggest you just think of them agents. Otherwise, you might just find out what they can do. I don't think you like that mate."

A truce was called and the planning continued. Mark, Jo and Samuel, would be dropped by helicopter above the hole. After climbing down, Mark would set small blasts and clear as much of the fallen rock as possible.

When almost to the cave itself, the outside team would assault the cave entrance and enter. Once inside, Jo and Samuel would head toward the lab to destroy the fungus, while Mark would search for Illya and Napoleon.

"I hoping that Illya and Napoleon will be able to help from the inside, once the fighting starts," Mark explained.

April would lead the group in front, taking out as many guards as possible and attempt to join up with Jo and Samuel.

With everyone in readiness, Jo, Mark, and Samuel boarded the copter for the drop.

While UNCLE was preparing their invasion, Illya and Napoleon were returned to their cell both unconscious. Napoleon was chained to his cot, while Illya was chained by the ankle and laying on the cold cement floor. They were unable to move more than a few inches from where they were chained.

The smell and noise of dinner being delivered brought both agents around. Only one tray was brought in and placed before Napoleon. "What about my friend?"

Oreato examined Illya, "No, I think we will allow Mr. Kuryakin to think about the comforts he is missing out on by refusing to cooperate with us."

Illya quickly glanced at his partner, "Eat Napoleon. I am not hungry."

"Liar, you are always hungry." Napoleon shot at him.

"One of us needs to keep up our strength. Eat."

Napoleon knew he was right. There was no way for him to share with Illya. Between the chains holding them in place, and the guard in the cell, he couldn't give his partner part of the meal.

One of them must retain whatever strength could. Slowly he began to eat. The food tasted like cardboard but the energy that would come from it might help them escape when the time came.

Illya faced the wall, trying not to focus on the food. It had been almost two days since he had eaten. Illya knew that Napoleon was bearing the brunt of the physical abuse, but it was he who was dealing with psychological torture and it was beginning to get to him.

Oreato returned after Napoleon had finished eating. "I hope the meal was acceptable, Mr. Solo."

"I prefer to eat with my friends, not alone while my partner has no food."

"Why Mr. Solo, it would never due to have Mr. Kuryakin become infected with the fungus you just ingested."

Illya's eyes turned ice cold, "What do you mean?" he demanded.

"Surely Mr. Kuryakin, I do not need to get more specific. However, to make sure there is no mistake, I will explain it. Mr. Solo along with ten students have been given the fungus tonight. It takes about a week to kill it victims. As it spreads though the body, it becomes very painful."

Illya attempted to rise, pulling at his chains. "I will kill you Oreato, this I promise you."

"Mr. Kuryakin for now you have but one choice. Find out where our scientist went wrong within a week or kill your partner and those students. Do you need time to think this over?"

Oreato smirked at him knowing he had won, "I will give you one hour to make up your mind. Unchain them."

Illya sat next to Napoleon on the cot, "What choice do I have? Waverly always telling us we are expendable that I can handle. But innocents who do I choose." He was torn between the deaths of a few versus the death of many.

"If you help, we may be able to destroy it later, Tovarisch, but we can't be sure."

"And if we cannot Napoleon, then what." Illya stood and paced the room. Pain racked his body from the beating, his ears, eyes, and body were causing him to reel from psychological treatment. Now he needed to make a decision that could cause the death of millions. If he didn't do what was asked of him, his friend and ten students would die.

Napoleon stood slowly and painfully to stop his partner's pacing. "Illya do what you must for now. Jo, Samuel and UNCLE are out there. We'll stop Oreato, one way or another, but you can't allow this fungus to continue to exist."

When Oreato returned, the two agents were resolved to follow one course of action, "No." Was the only word spoken.

"We shall see Mr. Kuryakin how long you can keep your determination when you hear the screams of your partner and the students."


	7. Chapter 7

**Attack Force**

**Illya, Mark, and Samuel**

Napoleon and Illya were moved into the lab; placed in a cell next to the students. Oreato's plan was to work on Kuryakin psychologically; using every moan of those afflicted to tug at his soul.

Napoleon's condition worried Illya especially; he was concerned the fungus would work faster because of his weakened state.

"Hey man what are you guys doing in here with the rest of us guinea pigs?" asked a longhaired guy.

Napoleon called back, "Just hanging around, man."

"Mr. Kuryakin you will let me know when you change your mind, won't you?" Then loud enough for the students to hear, "You will be the only hope for these poor subjects. If you don't help us solve our little problem, their death is very painful." Oreato baited him.

After Oreato left the room, the students demanded to know what was happening yet Illya could only shake and bury his head into his hands without a word.

Napoleon sat silently beside him, his hand on his friend's shoulder, "Tovarisch…"

"Do not Napoleon, just do not say it," turning his head from both his partner and the students. "I might be able to save all of you, but I cannot do so without destroying the rest of the world. Please just let me be."

Jo, Mark, and Samuel after being lowered from the copter behind the mountain entrance located at its peak, began to repel down through the hole.

Darkness surrounded them, and every small sound echoed through the cave. Only the obstruction from the previous cave-in prevented Thrush from hearing their approach.

As they reached the bottom, Mark stepped into a small puddle of water that had been trapped during a previous storm.

"Why am I the one who always get wet, dirty, or messed up, while April always get the clean part of an assignment," Mark complained as he ensured that Jo missed the puddle by moving the rope toward the drier part of the cave.

Jo lightly laugh and answered, "Because you are a gentleman, and you help us girlies stay neat and clean."

Samuel took a patronizing attitude as he stood beside her, "Real funny, Miss Kuryakin."

"Hey mate, don't take it seriously. If she's teasing you; that means that she likes you," Mark told him as they hiked along.

Jo came up behind him and slapped his head, "I will more than tease you, if you do not get moving faster."

With a mock bow, Mark said, "Your word is my command, my lady." Laughing quietly, he picked up speed.

As they approached the blocked entrance, they silently examined it. Since the last time Samuel had been here the rocks had shifted and now there was a basketball size opening that was visible.

"Mark, how much explosives do we need?" Jo asked as she moved into the pathway. "Can you get it open with what we brought?"

"I'm not your brother, but I think I can do it."

"You know I did not mean it that way. I would just like to get in there without being buried alive."

"Don't worry luv, if this bloody thing doesn't work, we won't be alive when we get buried."

Samuel couldn't understand these UNCLE agents, always making jokes or teasing. This was serious business not a lark.

Mark could see that Samuel concern, "Look gov, we can either laugh or cry in the situations that we get ourselves into. Personally I would rather laugh. My friend Jo there, growling is more often her style."

He directed the deployment of most of the explosives and asked Jo opinions a few others. "Jo, you didn't put any extra's into those charges did you? You and Illya always seem to enjoy that extra boom."

"You are directing this part of the rescue. I would not play with your charges without your permission."

Mark searched her eyes and reminded her, "Right, not like the last time when you forgot to mention the extra two you placed in the exit way."

"One little slip and you will not let me forget it," Jo tossed back at him finishing placing the explosives he had given her.

"That one little slip forced me to spend a week in medical," he recalled and placed the last of his charges.

"Whenever you two are done reminiscing, I finished," Samuel interrupted the banter.

**April and the Backup Agents**

Jo opened a direct line to April, "We are ready, start the show." Before disconnecting, the three in the cave heard shooting from the assault force.

They took cover as Mark set off the explosives; then rushed down the path that was cleared with guns drawn. As most of the guards were defending the entrance again April's troops, little resistance was offered.

Mark took off towards the lower level where the cells were likely to be while Jo and Samuel went in search of the labs.

The explosions spurred the two jailed agents into action. "Catch Illya," Napoleon yelled as he threw the lock pin he had made earlier to him. Then he ordered the students to get in the corner of their cell and to stay down.

The young man with the long hair opened his mouth to object. "Don't argue, just to it!" Napoleon wasn't in the mood to explain himself to anyone. He was used to being in control and not having his orders questioned.

Illya opened the cell door, "Are you coming Napoleon or would you like me to do this by myself?"

Running out of the cell, they headed toward the two guards who had been left inside to watch them. Each took one guard and knocked them out with a blow to the neck. Rounding up the lab personnel, they locked them in their now empty cell.

They took up positions with guns retrieved from the guards. "Let them come to us. Otherwise, we'll be shooting at each other. Besides, we have innocents to protect now," Napoleon suggested.

"I agree, but do not exert yourself. It will cause the virus to move through your body faster. We need you alive to use your blood for the antidote with this information." Illya reminded him. "We cannot let the equipment and files be destroyed either."

Napoleon nodded in agreement and prepared to defend the lab.

April's backup agents met with minimal resistance. Thrush in their usual over-confidence believed they were safe at this site. As the group approached the lab door, resistance increased but nothing that the strike force couldn't handle.

Mark reached the cells without hindrance then pulled out his communicator, connecting both groups, "April, Jo you there?"

"Check," both women answered.

"No prisoners down in lower cells. Hopefully, all prisoners are upstairs somewhere. Meet you there, Mark out."

Jo and Samuel came up the hallway from the opposite direct of April. Before the two teams rounded the last corner, April yelled out, "Jo you there?"

"Yes April. Anyone in the hall surrender now, and we will guarantee your safety. You are outnumbered and surrounded." Jo command was answered with a few gunshots before someone called out, "We surrender."

Aprils' team moved slowly down the hall, rounding up the remaining guards.

Napoleon and Illya stood from behind their cover and smiled at the two women. Mark had joined Jo and Samuel as they headed towards the lab. "You're late," Napoleon told the group, "We had to clean up the lab people ourselves."

Jo smirked at them, "If you could pull yourselves away from your self-admiration, we can blow up this place and get out of here."

**The Bad News**

The two men looked at each other, "Jo, we cannot. Napoleon and the students over there have been given the fungus. We need to develop an antidote within the next week or they will die painful. All the equipment and notes are here, and it would be faster than setting up one of our labs. Someone will have to notify Waverly."

They all turn toward Jo, "This is your operation, now that Napoleon is a victim and Illya will be the scientist in charge," April said, "Mark and I were called in to help you."

"I am the rookie here," Jo said as she tried to pass the communicator to one of the others.

"Right, fine than I will make it an order," Napoleon teased, "You have the honor of informing Mr. Waverly about the new development."

Jo gave them an icy glance and opened the pen, "Open Channel D please."

"Miss Kuryakin, I have been waiting for your report."

"We have taken the lab sir. All personnel other than Oreato, who has disappeared, have been locked up and the fungus samples are secure."

"Good, good. Destroy the lab, bring back all the paperwork you have, a sample of the fungus, and get back here as soon as possible."

"Sir, we do have a problem. Ten students have been infected with the fungus. One other thing, Mr. Solo has been exposed as well. We could use some help. According to Oreato, we only have a week before this fungus is fatal."

"I will send some of our lab people immediately, Mr. Kuryakin will take over that part of the operation: you will take charge of lab security with Mr. Slate and Miss Dancer's support. Keep me updated and good luck to you all."

While she was talked to Waverly, Mark arranged with the Austin office for a prisoner pick-up while April released the students. Illya offered amnesty for lab personnel and scientists who would assist in drawing blood and making specimens. Only eight of those held accepted his offer.

Jo sent the additional agents under Mark and April's direction to recheck and protect the cave, Illya organized the released lab staff until his own staff could arrive.

Napoleon and students were given beds formerly occupied by Thrush's guards and directions not to move any more than necessary.

Jo sat beside Napoleon as he lay on his bed, tending to his injuries. He moaned softly at her touch, and then sat up, gently taking hold of her in his arms, though he grimaced with pain while he did so. "Penny for your thoughts." he said kissing her forehead

"Napoleon, I should be comforting you." she said, seeing the pain in his eyes, "Some of your wounds are infected, and you are running a fever. Perhaps Illya can give you something to help?"

"He said that wasn't such a good idea until we find out what can affect this fungus thing," he shook his head, "You know, Miss Kuryakin, I could get use to your worrying about me," he teased.

"Don't get your hopes up, Mr. Solo. I know about you and how you use sickness as a way to get a ladies attention," smiling sadly as she gave him a quick kiss.

"Make sure Illya gets something to eat will you. They didn't feed him. Now go and do your thing, I'll be okay."

**Napoleon**

Jo left Napoleon reluctantly and joined her brother after picking up three sandwiches and coffee for him. She placed the food on the table in front of him saying, "Eat. That is an order from Napoleon."

Illya stopped and turned toward her, seeing the question in her eyes. "I do not know if I can do it Jo. His condition will make the fungus move faster."

"He is running a small fever, and some of his wounds are starting to become infected," she pleaded with her eyes, "Can we give him anything to make him more comfortable?"

Illya held her closely, "Я знаю, тылюбитьегодажеесли у Васбудетнепризнать, что я нетакжекакбрата. Я делаю everything я могудлянего.Моясестрамало, вывсеравномолиться.Сделатьэтосейчасдляобоихему и егоуспеха. (I know you love him even if you will not admit it, I do also. I will do everything I can for him. My little sister, you still pray. Do so now for both he and for success.)

Jo wiped the tears from her eyes, gave him a peck on the cheek before turning toward April, Mark, and Samuel who came into the lab.

"Everything is set?" Illya asked.

He was assured all was secure. April, Jo, and Mark set up a schedule for the rotation for the guards. Samuel went back to his office remaining in touch with them.

Jo spent as much time as possible with Napoleon when not entering information in the computer. He was far worse than the students. The cultures from his wounds showed the fungus had begun settling there, new sores were beginning to appear on other parts of his body, and bruising was appearing all over.

His fever was rising, but the MD from New York couldn't guarantee that anything given to him to fight the temperature or the infections would not make his condition worse.

The students were also beginning to show signs of the fungus, bruising and sores were emerging. As the visible signs became more evidence, their agony grew. They were given pain medication to try to control that side effect of the fungus.

Fresh frozen plasma and platelets were infused to obtain rapid blood clotting. Red blood cells were given to replace the blood lose. Although slowing down the bleeding, it was not stopped.

In the lab various antifungal were introduced to the samples, but none had any affect. Illya was getting more frustrated by the minute. Nothing he tried was working.

Finally after Jo's persistence begging, he convinced the MD to allow a pasted-formed Penicillin. Illya knew it would not help a fungus infection, but hoped that by placing it around the slash marks on Napoleon's back it would prevent any other infections from forming.

Illya fell asleep with his head on the lab counter; fatigue prevented him from hearing the beeping of his communicator. He jerked awake as April came running into the run. "Napoleon room, now!" Illya ran following April out.

When they entered the room, Jo was pacing the room impatiently. "What is it Jo?"

"Illya, I was washing his back," She threw back the covers to reveal the fungus infection was beginning to heal.

"What but that impossible? Jo this is important, what did you use on his back?"

"Really Illya, I just put the Penicillin you ordered and my homemade body cream. It helps soften the skin; I figure he could use it."

"What's in it—the lotion?"

"Nothing that not organic-almond oil, coconut oil, Rosewater, aloe vera gel, rose oil, vitamin E and grated beeswax to harden it."

"Give me the lotion," he grabbed it and ran toward the lab.


	8. Chapter 8

**The Cure**

Illya briefly explained what he had observed and suspected about the body cream to others in the lab. Each ingredient within the cream was added separately to the penicillin then introduced to the fungus.

When aloe verabarbadensis Miller, better known as the 'Nature's Pharmacy' was added the fungus died almost immediately. Illya was angry with himself, why hadn't he thought of it earlier. It had been proven scientifically that it has healing and curative powers. For centuries, it had been used to cure skin problems and fungus conditions. By changing the properties of the penicillin, the aloe vera provided the antidote.

Although he was not sure how the fungus caused the brain alterations or bleeding, he could at least cure it for now. There would be time later for experiments to better understand it and find out why it did what it did.

After application of the antidote, the students were free of the fungus and released within two days. Napoleon spent one extra day because of his poorer condition. April, Jo, and Mark used the time to shut down the site. Illya ensured that all medical and experimental data was ready to ship to New York.

"Very good Miss Kuryakin. I expect to see all of you in my office tomorrow afternoon at 1. I understand Mr. Solo is on restricted duty for the rest of the week. Inform him if he is well enough that he should join us also," Waverly advised her after listening to the mission's updates.

"Yes sir." Jo passed on the message after hanging up. "One whole night off, he can be so generous," she said mockingly. "Plane leaves at 8-tomorrow morning. Might as well all enjoy dinner tonight before we return to UNCLE."

For the first time in almost a week Illya's eyes lit up, "At the Cooper Old-time Pit," he excitedly suggested. When the others looked at him, he defended the decision, "Mark would really enjoy it."

Napoleon and Jo snickered, "Sure, Tovarisch. We wouldn't want Mark to miss the experience. Your concern for your fellow agents is commendable."

Illya picked up Samuel for a dinner on the way to eat and met the others at the restaurant. April and Jo headed for the restroom while the men picked out their meat and entered the main room.

As the girls selected their food, a group of bikers approached the women. The bikers began to hem them in as April and Jo had their back to the group. Jo turned with a glance that had been known to freeze an enemy, looking at the leader whom she had met before.

"We're not going to have any more trouble again right?'' she challenged him. "My friend and I have the same distaste for conformations."

He remembered the last encounter with her and was not ready to face both of the women. "No madam, let me carry your tray for you." Both women were relieved of their trays and followed the men into the main room. Others from the gang open the door for them.

As the bikers set down the trays on the table where the other agents were already sitting, April and Jo thanked them and give them a small peck on the cheek.

After the bikers left, laughter sounded throughout the restaurant. "Well I'll be," said the waitress, "I never thought I would see the day, those guys would act like gentlemen." After the women had joined the guys, two large pieces of cakes were delivered by the manager as a reward for what he had just witnessed.

"It will be a long time before we'll be able to live with these two," Napoleon said, "Hopefully their heads will fit through the door."

"At less they were gentleman and carried our trays," Jo pointed out, "Not like some I could mention," her eyes stopping to look at each of the men sitting there.

"I am not sure how you girlies did that, but I will say it is something."

"Look Samuel," Jo finally had enough, "We are not girlies. We are girls, women, ladies,"

"Ladies, an interesting description," Illya interrupted between bites.

Jo gave Illya a look that had him focusing only on his meal. "My name is Jo or Miss Kuryakin. She is April or Miss Dancer. I do not want to hear that word again."

"Wow, you have a temper," Samuel commented.

This time Mark interrupted, "Mate you haven't seen anything yet."

April kicked him under the table, "Don't push it Mark."

The rest of the evening was spent with the agents and Samuel enjoying themselves, laughing over silly jokes, swimming in the hotel pool, and having a few drinks. As no one else was at the hotel, the agents swam without the shirts, which usually covered their scars.

Samuel had seen Napoleon and Illya's back at the cave, but was surprised to see Mark, April and Jo's also showed evidence of abuse. Their backs?" he questioned Napoleon who was sitting next to them.

"Thrush and our other enemies don't believe in sexual discrimination. Women as treated just like men. They are two of the best women that we have. As you can see, they wear the scars to prove it," the two men were interpreted when Napoleon was pulled in the pool by April.

The next morning the agents were waiting for their plane to depart. Samuel had come to conclude his part of the paperwork in Austin and see them off.

"Well thanks for helping clean up my town. Hope you guys come back for a visit one day—without trouble of course," Samuel shook all their hands.

Samuel took Jo's hand, kissing it, "Miss Kuryakin, it has been an honor and privilege meeting you."

"I think I am going to miss being called girlie, but thank you." Reaching up she kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry Jo, I'll call you girlie so you don't miss it," Napoleon teased. One look from Jo quickly helped him decide it wasn't a brilliant idea.

Samuel watched as the five of them entered the gateway wondering if they would be alive to visit again. 'Being a cop is bad enough; being a spy, that's not for me' he thought as he left the area.

**Payback**

Jo spent the afternoon in on the computer in her office. Waverly had requested that she try a new program that had been created; altering images by allowing additions or removals from the original copy. She added the finishing touches on her project; pleased with her alterations to the image.

Her reports to Waverly indicated that she was delighted with the program and its use in the battle against Thrush. In this case, she had achieved her objective, and intended to get some well-deserved revenge. Napoleon Solo would not attempt to trade her for a jeep or anything else again.

Napoleon stood and stretched, "Illya, I'm going to the cafeteria for something to snack on, do you want anything?

"Something sweet please, and make it a double."

Napoleon Solo noticed that quite a number of secretaries were smiling strangely at him as he walked down the hall, while others were giggling as he passed. He continued on this way, shaking his head.

As Napoleon entered the cafeteria, he was greeted with whistles, hoots and applause. He looked around until he found the reason, and then grabbed one of the photos on the table." I'm going to kill her!" He swore under his breath and stormed out heading towards her office.

"Andreas, where is your partner?" Napoleon questioned as he came through the door and saw her empty desk.

"Said something about needing to take the afternoon off after speaking to April. What do you have there?" He asked, looking at the photograph with a grin on his face.

"Nothing," he said more irritated and left for April's office, "Okay where is Jo?"

"Jo? She stopped by later to drop off something for me, and then she said she was going to stop by to see Illya before heading home for the day," April grinned at the photo and said, "Love the pose."

He entered his office. "Illya, where is she?" he hissed through his teeth.

"She who? UNCLE has a lot of women working for them?"

"You know darn well who, your sister."

"As I told her, I am keeper to neither of you. However, I do believe she said something about taking the rest of the afternoon off. Is something a matter?"

Napoleon slammed the photo on Illya's desk. He picked it up, looking it over. "Interesting, I see she has been playing with that new computer program of hers."

Napoleon grabbed the phone, "This is Solo, is Miss Kuryakin still in house?"

"Sorry Mr. Solo, but Miss Kuryakin has left for the day. Is there anything else sir." As he hung up the phone sure he heard laughing.

He pounded on the door as he arrived at Jo's apartment. "Josephina Nichovia Kuryakin, I know you are in there, open up!"

From the other side of the door, "Who is it please?"

"Don't play games with me. I want to speak to you now."

Jo opened the door grinning. "What can I do for you Napoleon? I am trying to enjoy a nice quiet afternoon at home."

"How could you?" he asked pushing the picture at her.

"Is there something wrong with it? Seems fine to me," she said as she examined the picture and smiled. Napoleon was sitting on the bike in his biker clothes. A bandana on his head and an earring in one ear had been added to the original photo.

"Jo, how could you put a poster in the cafeteria, or leave copies of this laying around? Beside I never had the earring or bandana. Why?"

Purposely misunderstanding, "Why Napoleon, a biker would have both the bandana and earring. Just wanted it to be natural. Waverly asked me to check out how well the new computer worked before investigating in it. Beside, as you said about the jeep you tried to trade me for, we do what we need to do to get the job done."

"Are you still upset about that? Come on now." Napoleon collapsed on the couch pouting, "Jo all the ladies were grabbing them."

"Why Napoleon, surely it should boost your popularity."

"Jo, but this," he moaned, "How could you?"

She leaned over him and kissed him deeply. He started to responded but pulled away, "How am I going to live this down?"

"Napoleon, why live it down. Make use of it, the women will fall all over you."

Jo lifted Napoleon chin and kissed him passionately. Pulling her onto his lap, he returned the kiss.

"Is that all you came for Napoleon? To yell at me."

"It a start, let's see what else we can think of." Laughing he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, laying her down on the bed. He began slowly undressing her, but they were by the beeping of her communicator.

"Kuryakin here," she answered as Napoleon attempted to kiss her again.

"Miss Kuryakin, I need you in here with 20 minutes. Mr. Petros and you need to catch a UNCLE Jet in one hour."

Napoleon sighed. "Yes, sir," Jo answered, giving Napoleon one more kiss.

She quickly re-dressed, and headed out the door knowing he would take care of locking it.

She yelled back to him as she took off. "Save me the poster," she took off for HQ.

As the apartment door closed, Napoleon laid back on her bed. He thought to himself, 'I don't get mad Jo, I get even." He smiled plotting his revenge.

**Napoleon's Revenge**

Andreas and Jo returned a few days later from their successful operation. She was sure that Napoleon would be planning revenge and was careful around headquarters.

Illya was in his office when she stopped by, "What does Napoleon have planned for me?"

"Really, Jo. How am I expected to get any work done when he is in here asking me to help him, and you are in here questioning me? Why can you two not leave me out of this?"

"Because you are his partner and would help him if you could."

"I am also your brother," he shot back, "I am neutral."

"We shall see," Jo answered him and left. The next few days Napoleon seemed to have forgotten about the embarrassment of the picture. He even made a point to tell her how the women were trying to get his autograph. Although still cautious, Jo felt that perhaps this joke had blown over.

A few days later, Jo fell into her office chair. The morning had started at 3 am when she received a request to come in to help prevent an invasion attempt of the computer database. She was tired and hungry but at least the threat had been neutralized.

Hunger won over exhaustion as Jo headed toward the cafeteria. A few agents said hi to her on the way, but the halls were unusually quiet. The emergency over the computer this morning had many trying to catch up on their work.

As Jo picked up a tray and began to pile her lunch on when she heard the first snicker. Soon, the snickering turned to laughing. She turned around to see employees pointing toward her back.

Looking in the shining gray steel of the warming table, in fluorescent pink she saw the word girlie with a picture of a girl dressed as Betty Boop with waist-long hair.

Seeing Napoleon sitting in a booth, she headed toward him. As Jo approached the table, she heard him say to Illya. "Your right, the paint does glow in this type of light."

Illya looked up at the glare in Jo's eyes and shrugged, "Hi Jo?" he tried.

"Illya Nichovitch Kuryakin, do not speak to me. Napoleon Solo remember you are not the only one who knows how to get even," and placed her tray in front of her brother, "You might as well eat it, it may be your last meal."

Napoleon was trying now to laugh but was failing, "Really Jo he is innocent. He didn't know I took the paint."

Jo looked at both of them and nodded to Illya, "If I find out you helped him….."

Illya held up his hands, and picked up her tray, "I will leave you two to sort this out."

After Illya had left, Napoleon said, "How about you come by tonight, and we'll work on a truce," his grin and eyes suggesting something else.

"Oh, we will work it out," she said leaving to change.

Jo stopped at her locker where she had intended to borrow one of UNCLE sweatshirt. As she walked by Napoleon's locker, she changed her mind. She made sure no one else was in sight, and opened his locker with the code he had given her one day when he needed something.

From the top shelve she removed one of his new silk shirts, and left him a note telling him that she had borrowed it.

Jo wasn't disappointed when Napoleon came knocking at her door for his shirt.

Wrapping the shirt around her, she let him in.

"Jo, I want my shirt back," he said as he made a grab at her.

"Why should I? You destroy one of my turtlenecks, so I confiscated one of your shirts,"

"Your turtleneck cost maybe ten dollars off a rack. My shirt cost almost $100 and fttted especially for me."

She began to move backwards teasing him as she went, "If you want it, come and get it." Jo hit the back of the couch and fell onto it.

Napoleon lay across her, and began to unbutton his shirt. "Give me back my shirt." Both of them were now laughing and wrestling for it.

"I will never," Jo said in a seductive voice, "You can torture me all you want, but it will be for nothing."

Napoleon stopped laughing and an intent look appeared in his eyes. Napoleon lay stretched out alongside Jo, "Napoleon, what is it?"

He held her tightly, "Jo I was never so frightened as with that fungus. I know at any time we could die from a bullet, knife, even poison from an enemy. That I can handle and even accept. However, my own body betraying me, not protecting me. That torment was one of the worse I have ever faced."

Jo held the man who mean the world to her and kissed him deeply and fervently. They cuddled on the couch, holding and kissing each other. Feeling safe in each other arms for now.

Unhurriedly, clothes were unbutton, shoe and socks removed until a knock at the door interrupted them.

"Who is it?" Jo shouted out disappointed.

Illya responded, "It is me."

Napoleon rose to open the door whispering to Jo, "Don't you dare move, just remember where we left off."

Jo covered herself with a blanket, "Your timing is just as wonderful as always, Illya," she complained as he walked through the door.

"I just wanted to make sure no one was dead," Illya answered. Eyeing the situation he added, "Quite obviously you are both very much alive."

"Thank you for that observation, perhaps you could leave now." Napoleon suggested showing him the door.

"Sure, one more thing. I think you should know that Mark has a pool going as to when you two will call a truce to the hostilities."

"He does, does he," Napoleon glanced at his watch and told Illya, "I would say it was 1845, how about you Jo?"

"Yes that fine with me. Illya, I love you and would like to spend some time with you but not tonight," pointing to the door.

Illya took the obvious hint and left, while Napoleon left reset the locks. When he turned around, he saw Jo standing in the bedroom doorway waving his shirt, "Come and get it." One never to require a second invitation, he went to retrieve his shirt and whatever else was being offered.

The next morning Illya, Jo, and Napoleon rode in together and headed toward the cafeteria. Getting their breakfast, they saw Mark sitting at a booth; they went straight toward him. Illya and Jo slid into one side while Napoleon sat next to Mark.

Napoleon looked at the English agent, "Who won?"

Mark said carefully, "Won?"

"The pool. Oh that right you need a time. It was 1845." Jo informed him.

Mark knew he was caught red handed, and decided to throw himself on their mercy, "Just a wee bit of fun, gov. You understand don't you?"

"Sure I understand Mark, and so will you when you're doing carrier runs for the next six months. Now who won?" he asked again with one of his deadly but winning smiles.

As Mark pulled the list from his pocket, Illya began to try to move pass Jo. "Why, it was you Illya, congrats mate."

Before he could go farther both Jo and Napoleon grabbed his arm. "You won't know where or when Kuryakin, but you will get yours," Napoleon voice threatens.

"And if you were worried about our little prank against each other," Jo added, "Just think of what the two of us together can come up with."

Illya put down his fork; appetite lost. He walked away with the knowledge that he would pay for this little bit of amusement and the outcome of that payment would be something he wouldn't soon forget.

FINIS


End file.
